Ok ladies- so you’re dating someone you really like and things are really hot between you. You get along, enjoy being together and the sex is amazing. This is not just some hot person you’re casually dating though- this is actually someone you would like to see yourself in a relationship with down the road and hope he feels the same way. Should you spend the night as you would with other guys in the past or should you resist the temptation and go home after your sexy date?
Over time, so many rules have changed in the dating world. These days, we just do as we feel like and the new rules are: there are no rules. We do what feels right at the time and figure that if a guy really likes us that much, he will want to get serious with us regardless of whether we spent the night with him or not. But is that really so?
Dating rules seem so old fashioned these days in this more-than-ever fast paced world we live in. We want to date, find a quality relationship and true love all in a short, express lane amount of time. With our busy career days and other things going on, who has time to think about dating rules- and who even cares anymore?
While there is truth to all of that, the fact of the matter is, some classic rules in life never die and always apply, even in the most modern, high tech days we find ourselves in now. To spend the night or not to spend the night: that is the question only you will be able to answer in the end. If you really insist and want to, then nothing and no one can stop you- and the choice should be yours. However, like with all choices in life, there are certain end results and consequences.
Some may think, “well, I already had sex with him, so what’s the big deal about staying the night over?”. Not a big deal really- but it also depends on the guy and what he means to you, as well as what your goals are with this connection you have with him.
Sex is a pleasurable physical act while spending the night and slumbering together is more of an intimate experience. When you spend the night, you will do your nightly rituals you usually do on your own, such as brush your teeth, shower and other personal things- a side of you that most people usually do not see. This kind of intimate experience should be looked at as more of a privileged side of you that someone sees, rather than treated in a casual manner. If a guy is someone you are just casually seeing and enjoying your time with and he does not mean anything that special to you and you want to spend nights with him, then go for it, be safe and and enjoy!
If you are hoping to be looked at in a more serious way and want him to work hard to win your heart over for a real relationship however, perhaps you should resist the temptation and go home after you have a great, hot sexy time together. You can enjoy wonderful sex with him (this is not the 1950’s anymore, after all) without giving him the honor he has not earned of seeing the most personal and intimate side of you. Being able to sleep with you, hold you all night and see all of you as you really are is a privilege that he must earn by proving to you and showing you how much he wants to be with you and grow closer to you.
When a man is feeling serious about a woman, he will not hesitate to make that known. He will make it more and more clear with each date that he really likes you, cares about you and is even falling in love or is already in love with you and wants to be with you. Women tend to over analyze dating situations and try to justify or find excuses as to why a guy has not expressed his “true” feelings for them or why it’s okay that they just go sleep at his place over and over again as he continues to not make enough efforts to show how much he wants to get serious with them. Ladies, he maybe not so nice, but important truth is- if he wants you, he will tell you and you will not have to play any guessing games about it. If you have to work that hard to figure out where things stand between you, then you already have your answer on whether this will lead to a serious long lasting relationship.
So go ahead and have that hot sex and enjoy dating that cutie, but don’t give him all the free intimacy by spending the night, because he will feel no rush to ever work for anything you are already happily giving him for free. Give him the chance and opportunity to work and hunt for more and imagine how it would be to be more serious and intimate with you. Men love working for what they really want- especially a woman they truly feel attracted to, admire and respect.
Written by Alina van Jenni
From love sessions