Dating lessons: Four ways on how to quickly spot sex pests on the prowl online

After the obligatory ‘hi, how are you doing?’ his next message will be ‘wanna go out for a drink?’

Online dating is exasperating! If you chat with a man online, it is pretty much guaranteed he will turn it into a sext. I tried online dating a few years ago and the whole experience left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Why do men sign up to dating sites when all they want is sex? Nearly every dude I replied to was just looking for some ‘fun’. It didn’t matter that I had clearly indicated in my profile that I was looking for a relationship, not a casual hook up.

Nevertheless, the “d**k pictures and sexual come-ons” kept flowing into my inbox. Eventually I learnt to vet the men I replied to. You can actually tell if a guy is just after sex with a quick scan on his profile. Here are a few tell-tale signs.

His profile picture is mirror selfie showing off his abs

A well-meaning man looking for a woman to date would opt for a picture showcasing his interests or hobbies. It could be a picture of him climbing a mountain or cooking. A guy who is looking to hit and quit it on the other hand doesn’t give two hoots about showing depth and personality.

It is all about shirtless photos proclaiming his abs and biceps at every possible angle. Do not waste your time with this guy. Chances are if you reply to his “hi” you will be bombarded with a few more of his photos showing off other intimate body parts.

His profile bio is two sentences

The second sentence usually is ‘message me for more info’. Steer clear of men with an inadequately filled profile. A lazily filled profile is an indication of a man who is not serious about the dating part and is just looking for easy sex.
He isn’t interested in you knowing anything about him other than the fact that he has a strapping body. He doesn’t care to know if you have compatible interests as long as you are free and available for sex.

If he can’t take a few minutes to write a good profile bio he isn’t worth your time. Take it from me.

He wants to meet immediately

A man who is just looking for a quick romp in the sack isn’t going to waste time on some lengthy back and forth texts to get to know each other.

After the obligatory ‘hi, how are you doing?’ his next message will be ‘wanna go out for a drink?’ It doesn’t matter that you started talking three minutes ago. He doesn’t even know your real name and he is ready to meet.

You could be a serial killer for all he knows but his only concern at that moment is whether he is getting some or not. A genuine man will try and communicate a bit to get to know you before asking you out.

He doesn’t want to know anything about you other than what you are doing at that moment

If a man isn’t interested in talking about you as a person, your likes, dislikes and related matters, he is looking for a casual hook up.

He is only interested in whether you’re up for a quick romp and will only ask you questions leading up to that. Avoid such species like the plague.

|By Anne Muiruri |SDE