We all have those days when calling in sick to work just seems like the only option. I know I’ve been there — laying in bed, looking at the clock and counting down the minutes until I have to make a final decision. Because bills don’t pay themselves, I usually suck it up and just go to work.
But there are some days that you’re in bed and the thought of getting out, getting dressed, and taking a ride to work seem harder than college algebra. And that’s totally fine; we all need mental health days.
Lucky for us, a study done by Attest, a market research company, gave us a cheat sheet on when the best time to call out sick is. Mondays and Fridays are obviously a no-no since it’ll appear like you just want a long weekend.
Ready for the magic trick? Attest says to call out on a Tuesday, at precisely 6:38 AM. Now, I totally hear you as you probably think to yourself that waking up early just to call out defeats the purpose of sleeping in. But if you want it to look legit, you have to play the part. However, don’t play it too well.
You’re not Meryl Streep so hold back on the extra coughing, phlegm noises, and the like.
In the same study, researchers suggested using “stomach issues” as the best excuse. It’s so easy to quiver your voice slightly to express your discomfort without having to play up flu or cold symptoms.
The study also shows that November and December are the months in which people are more likely to call out, so go ahead and do your holiday shopping online. Save your sick day for the other ten months. You’ll be so happy you did when you’re sipping tea, binge-watching Netflix, and ordering take-out.
Word of advice: DON’T post on social media, even if your account is private AF. If there’s even ONE “friend” who has it out for you, somehow whatever you post (“At the gym, because if I don’t post it on FB, it doesn’t count, right? Haha!”), it will wind up getting back to the big boss.
There’s nothing wrong with the habitual scrolling of your timeline, just don’t like or comment or post. It’s too dangerous.